Love Without Hurt

LOVE

WITHOUT

HURT

“Just having an open conversation about what healthy relationships look like makes us more confident when the time arises for us to deal with an unhealthy relationship of our own or a friend’s.”

– Rachel Matthew, member of Teen Advisory Board

What is a healthy relationship? How may it be defined? People define relationships differently, but according to loveisrespect.org, a platform which strives to “engage, educate and empower young people to prevent and end abusive relationships,” states “open, honest and safe” communication is a fundamental part of the definition. 

Love Without Hurt, a non-profit organization, practices a similar definition with an in-depth focus on teen dating violence. The group was “Created in response to the epidemic of teen dating abuse,” according to the group’s ‘About’ statement. The group, as part of their statement, is “Dedicated to empowering teens so they can build healthy relationships,” which has been a core value they’ve been practicing for the past three years.

The Teen Advisory Board was formed out of Love Without Hurt, to assist teens in taking initiative in their high schools and connect to their peers about issues regarding teen dating violence. 

The group, located in central Ohio has taken root in local school districts in the area. The group has held workshops and events, including “I Matter” and “Party to Prevent,” which have provided education to young girls about teen dating violence and provided resources for teens to utilize, for themselves and peers.

Despite the focus on teen dating violence, the group also focuses on the practice of healthy relationship habits during high school, the transition from high school into college and into adulthood. They emphasize the prevention and practice of healthy relationships, whether that be a teen or adult relationship.

The group has emphasized the importance of this because it is a harsh reality in the world. The group attempts to de-emphasize the narrative that it simply happens to women, but also men. It may occur in any type of relationship.

From hosting various events for young teen girls, the group is expanding the way in which they can help their respective communities in the central Ohio region. 

Laura Ryzenman and Lisa Spector, Love Without Hurt representatives and mentors for the Teen Advisory Board, have expressed sentiments about working in the specific area of teen dating violence and their time helping and working in the community. 

“Honestly, I feel that it is the best thing I have done professionally … it has impacted more students because we talk about relationships and how it impacts all areas of life … as a woman and mom, I hope it has had a positive impact on lives,” Ryzenman said. 

“If you feel that something isn’t 100% right, or you feel a slight turn in your stomach, get out of that situation.”

-Katie Ryan, member of Teen Advisory Board

Ryzenman and Spector have worked with the program since it developed in 2014, and have since then committed and connected to their respective communities, but also to the greater community of central Ohio.

Also for both, Ryzenman and Spector, working and mentoring the young women of the Teen Advisory Board, who disperse to their respective communities and high schools has been a significant and encouraging undertaking.

“It has created an increasing amount of hope (for me). Mentoring young people that are making a change, and getting feedback from people let’s us understand what we teach them. Without it, who knows if there would be an impact? … It’s inevitably rewarding because I believe it is making a difference,” Spector said.

The work of bringing awareness and educating the community about domestic violence and teen dating violence, alongside mentoring the young women of the Teen Advisory Board, has heavily influenced Ryzenman and Spector.

“I have seen amazing things … in watching them going from going to planning and watching it evolve and not just that … in so many different ways they have grown through discussions and thinking … I’ve seen such leadership, from the front and the back. I’ve seen major leadership through each of the girls,” Ryzenman said about working with the group over the last three years.

The girls joined in their early years of high school about three years ago. In the three years since, it has grown and inspired the young women of the Teen Advisory Board. As they are in their senior years of high school and going to college in the fall 2020, they are beginning to reflect on their experience with the group.

“It has made me see how necessary and impactful our work can be for our peers. Just having an open conversation about what healthy relationships look like makes us more confident when the time arises for us to deal with an unhealthy relationship of our own or a friend’s. Working with the TAB has made me even more passionate about this issue and has made me realize that I can make a real impact through educating my peers, this issue isn’t a lost cause,” Rachel Mathew, a member of the Teen Advisory Board, said.

Mathew, a senior at Dublin Jerome High School, has worked with the board for around three years and has helped make an impact within her school and community, including her friend group. She advises, from her personal experience and from that of peers, for young women to love themselves, be open to others’ advice and allow time for self-reflection.

“I think it’s important to remind yourself of your own self worth and that you deserve to be treated like an attractive, intelligent, independent and loved human being! Listening to your friends who are telling you that they don’t like the way your partner is treating you is also important because we can sometimes have blinders on to how we are actually being treated. It’s also good to keep yourself in check to make sure that you aren’t falling into how society tells you to navigate your relationship,” Mathew said.

Katie Ryan, another Teen Advisory Board member and a senior at New Albany High School, gave a similar perspective that Mathew gave. She went more in-depth about getting out of situations dealing with domestic violence and unhealthy relationships.

“Trust your gut. Truly. If you feel that something isn’t 100% right, or you feel a slight turn in your stomach, get out of that situation. Speak with someone you trust to evaluate the issue; often times, someone who isn’t in the relationship will have a clearer view of it. Everyone has different boundaries. What might be okay for you might not be okay for someone else, and vice versa. And always, always, ask for consent,” Ryan said.